Solution Focused

I am a solution focused therapist and coach. I believe that there are solutions to everything. I agree that sometimes the solutions are not comfortable or fun, but at least it is a way to get from here to there. There is a saying in the 12 step recovery world, "when I step out of the problem, I am able to find solutions".

I really think that we are a problem focused society and culture. That is why we do not move forward much and feel stuck. I challenge those today to shift that focus from problem to solution. How do I do that, you may ask? Just tell yourself, "there is a solution to everything, and I am open to solutions".

Another exercise, I take from Alice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton. Alice states in the movie, "my father used to think up 6 impossible things before breakfast." I like this notion. Why? Because this exercise helps to step outside of the box that we like to stay in. It helps us to expand our minds, and to see ALL possibilities.

Oh, by the way, in the movie, Alice lists off 6 impossible things, and manages to find a way to slay the "dragon" aka Jabberwocky. So, step out of the problem to see solutions, and list 6 impossible things so that you can "slay your dragon".

Have a great adventure!

Change and Faith

I think the hardest thing to do is to change. I cannot tell you how many times I have said that “intellectually I know what I need to do”, but could not make the first steps. A quote that comes to mind when I reflect on these situations is, “To me faith means not worrying,” by John Dewey.

So what does change and faith have in common? We do not have faith in ourselves to make the first step. We do not have faith in others who stand by us with these new changes. We do not have faith in our “higher power” of what we know we must do in order to live a happy and full filling life. In other words, this is the worry part of our brain. Yes, I fully understand the challenges of change, especially when there is a financial pressure involved. I understand that others may not be supportive the way you would want them to be when you make that first step. But, that is where faith lies in the unknown, which is scary as hell. However, one must do what one must do in order to fill that desire that is in all of us to do something.

How many stories have been told about the main character going against all odds to full fill their passion, desire, and their destiny? It was never an easy road, but the adventure that we read was very captivating. How many times we secretly desired to be brave enough to have the same courage of those characters? What was the main thing in all of these characters had in common? Faith. Sure there were times that they worried too, but their faith pushed them through in the end. So why is it we do not have faith in ourselves to live healthy, live happily, and go for our dreams? Worry.

How do we let go of that worry? By closing our eyes, take in a deep breath, and going ahead and making that first step knowing that your faith will carry you to the next step. So, I will be waiting for you to arrive at your next step towards change. Enjoy the adventure!

Peace of Mind

It is hard to find patience and love especially when no one says thank you. Day in Day out, you get up to do the routine all over again. Sometimes there is a variation, but others it is the same like a broken record. Those are the days that I find it hard to think positive, be appreciative, and to not be critical. Don't' get me wrong, I still love my favorite self help authors, but darn it...I am only human!

Do I fantasize about running away and living a new life without those that I am committed to, absolutely! I think it is healthy. Why do you ask? Because, then I think of all the things that I would miss if I had left, all the little things that bring a smile to my face, and that warms my heart. I think it is a learning process, and even though I do not always fully understand, there must be a reason this small piece fills the bigger picture of my life.

I will be the first to admit, I am not perfect, and I do not always approach the events with a positive attitude. However, I always have a choice in staying in the negative and low energy, or shifting to a positive and higher energy.

So, the next time I am fuming, I will take a few breaths, maybe even go outside and let the dog enjoy the back yard so that I can calm down. I will do my morning pages to dump out the mental and emotional garbage that is over crowding the recesses of my mind. Plus, I will remind myself that this is just a brief moment that will soon pass.

Peace!

Sending this out into the Universe

Sending this out to anyone who is interested. I am open to doing a 6 hour "Creative Approach to Self Discovery" that is targeted for either licensure CEU's and or Self Improvement Class. Max. 6 people please, and I am open to travel anywhere to do the presentation. Email me and we can discuss further details. :)

Just For Today

Just for today I want to focus on the "now". I get so caught up in the little details of my life that I forget to just let it all go, and just focus on right here right now. Sure, I have an idea of what I need to do next, but the constant thinking of the next step that leads to the next, and then the next I forget that it is all about experiencing the present moment.

The present moment is all that I have, and not the future. That will unfold when it does, and besides I don't have control of the future. I have control on right now. So, if I get lost in my thoughts of the constant "to do" list in what is ahead for today, this week, month, and year, I will gently move my thoughts back to right now.
Why is it important to be in the present? First of all, a good stress management tool. If I am looking at the whole picture called my life, then I could be overwhelmed, and give up (at least momentarily). It also teaches me to focus on what I can control, this very moment, and what a feeling of accomplishment I feel when I can do that.

So, just for today I will focus on the "now", and not worry about my focus for tomorrow!

I Choose

I remember watching the Oscars last year when one of the composers from Slum Dog Millionaire stated "I could have lived a life in anger, but I choose to be happy." That last part of choosing to be happy stuck in my brain.
So, as I expose myself to the news, politics, and other worldly information I find myself feeling angry. That little phrase has been popping up, and I have decided to choose to be happy. I cannot change the world with anger and hate. There are numerous accounts that prove this very point. If I set out to change things outside of me in anger, then the next person will respond in anger, and so on. So, when I choose to let go of my anger, I will find a way to be happy in the experience. Therefore, I can share my happiness with the next person so that person can pass it on to the next one.

In closing...The reality? Stuff does happen...I don't deny that. Lots of stuff has happened to me, but I always have a choice on how I am going to respond to those unpleasant events. But, my intent will be to choose happiness.

Embracing Failure

We teach to succeed, how to be successful, and how to win. But, we don't really teach about how to fail. To fail at something is more important to succeed at something. Hear me out. My favorite question to ask people is, "what are you supposed to be learning?" When we fail, we are learning some valuable things when the events that we are experiencing do not go according to plan. When I fail, and boy do I have some whoppers of failures, I have the chance to sit back and learn what, where, and why my plan of actions did not work. The next step is how can I do things differently to get the desired results? So, I basically pick up information to take with me on to the next task/action towards following my bliss/goals/dreams.

Challenge:
Reflect on your failures and ask yourself "what was I supposed to learn from this?"
Then, ask yourself, "What, where, and why did this plan not work?"
Lastly, "How can I apply what I learned to the next plan of action?"